just come out here and I will go home with you...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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