Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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