I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
