I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
