I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
