Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
