There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
