I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
