Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
