My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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