he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
