Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
