Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
