the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
