Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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