Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
