hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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