I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
