Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
