It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
