this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
