you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
