I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
