with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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