Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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