pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
