Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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