So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
