i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
