What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
