you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
