I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
