He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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