Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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