if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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