You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
