i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
