I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
