So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
