then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
