that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't put those talents on a resume
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
