who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
