Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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