Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
