true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
