she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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