I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
