I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
