I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
