last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
