Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
