Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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